A Life-form Based on Water?

A Life-form Based on Watery Goo?

Number 9 finished making notes on the hairy mammals of Grockel’s Bay. It also recorded the movements of beeping boxes to keep Number 12 well informed, then it went to find Number 8.
‘Greetings Number 9,’ said Number 8, looking up from its workbench. ‘I’ve been trying to find out how the hairy mammals work. Fuel, motors, central processors and such like. They are such a strange design. Nearly everything seems to involve water. Even their central processor, they call it a brain by the way, is floating about in watery goo!’
‘I’ve been studying the Moores again,’ said Number 9, ‘And their beeping boxes,’ it added, in case chairentity Number 12 was listening. ‘They hardly ever stand still, you know, but I don’t know what they’re trying to accomplish. The hairy mammal called Arnold Toller has been writing to them.’
‘Oh yes?’
‘Do you know what they’re trying to achieve?’
‘No, I don’t.’
‘You know, with all these books and test tubes around you, you are beginning to resemble Fidget Waugh, the inventor hairy mammal.’
‘I haven’t found that one, though Number 14 suggested I ought to. Where does it live?’
‘I’ll show you,’ said Number 9.

Waughlocks without Dreadlocks

Fidget was busy in his garden shed. He’d been to see Arnold, at Arnold’s request since Arnold had wanted to set him up as a locksmith in new premises on the Toller Industrial estate near the gas works. Fidget had declined to have a loan but eventually agreed he’d try Arnold’s idea of starting the new Waughlocks business. Arnold could guarantee him some business, but Fidget was determined to work in his own shed, so he could persevere with his inventing, when he had the time and inspiration. He had a strong aversion to loans, too. Fidget had persuaded Dot to come and witness his latest invention ‘almost working’. In his enthusiasm he didn’t notice that Dot wasn’t really interested.
‘There’s been problems with the advert-skipping gizmo; it skips bits of the TV programmes as well. Whole party political broadcasts - no party political bias; it just skipped the lot. Except yogic flying, for some reason,’ he explained.
‘No kidding? You don’t happen to know if our neighbour’s been having any unusual visits, do you Fidget?’
‘I mean to say, I would have thought yogic flying counted as party politics and advertising really. Ought to be skipping it on two counts,’ said Fidget, peering through a magnifying lens into a forest of wires and electronics.
Dot persevered, ‘The thing is, one has to keep an eye on the neighbours, don’t you think?’
‘Perhaps it recognised it as fiction - or comedy? Could you just hold this wire a minute, please Dot?’
‘I’ll hold the wire if you talk to me about Eve!’
‘Oh, all right. Er ... perhaps Eve would like one of these gizmos when I’ve got them working? I wouldn’t be surprised if she tries yogic flying. She’s tried everything else.’
‘I’ll have to go now, Fidget. Here’s your wire,’ said Dot, making a face at the back of Fidget’s head.
‘Bye Dot.’
‘Silly old devil. It’s about time he got some proper interests,’ muttered Dot, resolving to search for greener pastors.

The Search for Greener Pastors

‘Ah! Vic’ll listen to me. It’s his job!’ she realised, and decided to write him a note.
‘I’ll have to fix this, somehow,’ said Fidget, now holding the wire in his teeth. His deliberations were brought to an end by a knock on the door and Arnold entered.
‘Fidget! How’re the locks coming along? We need these boxes to go on the side of the house as well. They sort of advertise the fact that this house is burglar proof. I can pay you for a couple now, we’re fitting them free to two houses to get the business going,’ said Arnold, stroking his moustache.
‘Giving them away makes other people buy them?’
‘You wait and see. We’ll fit one to your house and I’ll visit your neighbour and see if she’ll have one. Can you have them made by tomorrow?’
‘Yes. But I wanted to finish my gizmo first.’
‘That’ll have to wait. You’ll be able to pay someone to gizmo for you soon.’
Arnold left. Fidget felt a wee bit irritated, then Arnold returned,
‘What’s your neighbour called?’
‘Eve.’

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